Funny Twitter Quotes for Bios

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There are so many funny things to tweet on Twitter but the following cool quotes will double up your rating on Twitter. Update your today's Twitter bios and posts with these one liner quotes and let the fun war begin.

Funny Twitter Quotes for Bios!

Funny Twitter Quotes for Bios
  1. If I turn back and walk quietly when you argue, it doesn't mean you won, it means your stupid existence isn’t worth my precious time.
  2. I guess Twitter is good for avoiding these awkward moments.... everybody always telling the world exactly where they are
  3. Countless thoughts, clusters, flashlights, movements, so many colors, thoughts mixing in each other, fighting with each other, running around, coming and going... But in the end, got just one word to tell you, what’s going on in my mind... nothing!
  4. That awkward moment when you go to message someone and you realize they've un-friend you and you suddenly don't want to message them anymore.
  5. Increment in warmth is directly proportional to the decrement in the garments on female bodies.
  6. That awkward moment when my mom reads my Twitter! She read it and said I was funny but my language was bad then she said "Do not show your Dad!
  7. Honesty and Wisdom: Honesty: Keep the word you've given. Wisdom: Never give your word.
  8. That awkward moment when a person posts something on Twitter concerning their domestic affairs (troubles) and the people involved gets to see it and left a comment. Good thing I never say anything incriminating here.
  9. Why can't I work out how to use twitter? Does anyone else struggle or is it just me?
  10. I loathe Twitter but as a business resource it is useful. I found responding to people's tweets & striking up a twitter relationship is useful.
  11. That special feeling you get when you watch your former employers hacking into their staff's personal Facebook accounts to try and get dirt on them. I wonder if I should be upset that they don't consider me worthy enough to hack!
  12. If someone tweets something that makes you thinks of something (some censorship required haha) in response tweet them. If you strike something up with someone & re-tweet their reviews or recommend them, most people will reciprocate.
  13. I really do just skip over most motivational or deep posts on Facebook and twitter now. There all pretty much the same thing and I'm only here to read posts about how some people are as awkward as I am.
  14. Never follow me on Twitter, I'm awkward and confusing and random and not in the good way...
  15. I feel like I'm never going to find someone who will love me for me and only be with me because they want to be with me not because of catfish.
  16. I was bored whilst I was waiting for a huge database conversion and sync so I made the mistake of searching for myself on Google along with some pretty random keywords. I shouldn't do that; I only get worked up.
  17. I don't have a clue what this movie I am watching is, but the West Yorkshire Constabulary seems to keep bashing some sepia-toned, hairy young guy on the head with their truncheons. I suppose I could ask the media-player what it is, but where is the fun in that?
  18. If we wanted to eat foreign food, we should have cancelled the Battle of Britain and save ourselves the petrol.
  19. I have only been unemployed for a day and I am already spending the evening up on the mountain with the bearded dope-smoking rednecks that make up the laziest bike gang ever.
  20. A Survey in 2013 shows that parents voted Miley Cyrus and Chris Brown as the worst celebrity role models for their kids!
  21. I think if one puts their business out there publicly on the internet, than one should be prepared for the world to know, including undesirables. Worry when they look through the house windows!
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