Funny Instagram Quotes for Bios

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Like Facebook and Tumblr now the addiction of Instagram is running mad the teen boys and girls. Enjoy my latest collection of funny quotes for your Instagram bios and enjoy even more likes and followers.

Funny Instagram Quotes!

Funny Instagram Quotes

  1. It would be a Fair call if six and a half thousand people start following me on Instagram.
  1. Believe it or not, when I upload a new photo on Instagram I had no plans to be cool. It just happens.
  1. When girls on Instagram post the same pics over and over again about there man it's like just stop we seen it once don't need see it again and they also say "mine" "back off " "me and him forever" to everything it's like honey no one wants your man, we get it, just stop and the stupid thing is that I'm still following this girl.
  1. That awkward moment you get accepted to all the schools you applied for.
  1. There is no cheating between the relationship of me and my bed. We cannot apart and when we tired we sleep together.
  1. Everybody reaches that breaking point of putting up with other people's foolishness. It gets real old...real fast.
  1. Only Swag girls are fascinated by hashtags on the Facebook.
  1. You know ignorance is bliss but you can't fix stupid or argue with crazy so hate the drug and not the people because addiction is a disease.
  1. I think it's annoying when every time they post a photo on Instagram and it's like the exact same old picture.
  1. Can someone tell me my Instagram name I locked myself out and I do not know my screen name.
  1. Is anyone having trouble with Verizon's internet speed except me? It's so slow, it's useless. One of their workers was doing something to the connections in front of my house yesterday and it has not worked since, I have tried to call but can't get past the stupid answering machine with the same results on the internet.
  1. That embarrassed moment when you are laying down looking through your phone then dropping it on your face.
  1. I have come to the conclusion that all I need to do is pray for the stupidity in people in my everyday life. They are the ones that need help more than anything.
  1. Justin Bieber gets a new tattoo and in other news... my dog makes a big fart today.
  1. A woman on Fox News just said a gun will not save you. I have news for her. I have a better Chance with then with out. Her proof is she was shot and saw someone else get shot.
  1. I shouldn't be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I'm drunk!
  1. I think everybody that knows me knows that I don't send subliminal messages...I'm pretty straight forward. Trust me; if I have a problem with you'll know it. I'll pretty much let you know, no need to ask anybody else! I keep it all the way real.
  1. The most that awkward moments when you listening to music and cannot dance too, calling someone you cannot meet, having money you can’t spend.
  1. Words cannot express my love & passion for Fridays!
  1. If you keep a filthy & disgusting're not allowed to have opinions, judgments or criticisms about other women. Your rights have been have no voice! Go clean up...we don't hear you!
  1. You can't fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth!
  1. Okay, ladies, I just want to let you know that wearing sweats, hair in a bun or sort messy & no make-up on, does not make you ratchet, it just means that you were to lazy to dress up. I am shut up, already... Screaming this for attention!
  1. I have a confession just tell me if I'm too old! I want to make a twerk video and post on Instagram!
  1. The awkward moment when you see an ex and you both know you're a million times better than her boyfriend.
  1. Today, I gave the kids a lesson in "doing laundry" because I am over it! They have now been schooled & will be washing their own clothes moving forward! I feel like a slave who was just freed!
  1. I've come to 2 conclusions, if we have to have a license to carry a gun and drive a car then you should have to have one to be a parent and take care of another human being!
  1. Teach your girlfriends to get along with other females, do not teach them that every female is hating on them and don't like them!
  1. That awkward moment when you realize your girlfriend acts like she's your mom and holds more conversations with your dad then she does with you.
  1. That awesome moment when some old pairs of pants is big on you then the awkward one where you realize now you have to buy new pants.
  1. The awkward moment when someone text you something super innocent and your twisted mind turns it to a totally perverted sentence.
  1. No more communication with the negative, nonbeliever, small minded, faithless, depressed all the time people. I'm expecting nothing but the best for my life & anyone that is not for me, my marriage, my family, my dreams or my goals I can no longer have communication with, it's unhealthy for me & I choose me over you.
  1. Do you know why the law doesn't permit to marry second one..... Because according to law no one will punish twice for the same offense.
  1. I sometimes wonder what kind of mental sickness these girls who don’t follow me back.
  1. Okay, I've seen your latest pics so can me now move on and close this Instagram page of popular hashtags starring the stupidity.
  1. I always picture myself pulling them down around their ankles and then they can't chase me and they can’t run that fast anymore though.
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